Clark Kent, aka Superman, has resigned from The Daily Planet. His position there became untenable when he “voiced his disdain for the direction the newspaper is headed, lacking real journalism and real reporting”, according to staff at a comic book store in New York’s Time Square.
There was derision from some quarters that Kent would become little more than a blogger, in a sweeping dismissal of the online community. However, bloggers of the world are thrilled to have such a high profile writer now featuring in their number and believe it will gain them a lot more respect from mainstream media.
There was some confusion at the decision. David Mitchell, writing in The Observer, said: “Initially, I assumed he was protesting against all the nasty commenters on the Daily Planet website: the thousands calling him an arsehole without having paid for the paper, or complaining that he only got to save the world because of his posh upbringing on Krypton. But apparently not: as well as his other powers, Superman is super-thick-skinned and embraces the internet age. He’s off to work in new media and, according to Scott Lobdell, writer of the Superman series, is “likely to start the next Huffington Post“.
However, according to my sources, Kent was quick to deny this, saying: “It isn’t like I’m just going it alone. Contrary to earlier reports, I’m not starting my own Huffington Post, I’m heading up the new publishing arm of Wayne Industries. The owner, Bruce Wayne, is assembling an awesome editorial team and has already snapped up top freelance photographer, Peter Parker, along with feted investigative journalist and features writer, Diana Prince.”
He continued: “We are committed to providing a comprehensive news service and guarantee to be in the thick of the action, bringing you live coverage via social media and live event blogging (you can follow me @superclarkey). We’re confident that no other world service will compete with or have access to, the quality coverage we’ll be supplying our readers.”
Surveys of mainstream media readers suggest that many will be deserting their regular news source in favour of WWN (Wayne’s World News).
An insider at News International reported that Rupert Murdoch was said to be furious, believing Kent’s friendship with Superman would give him the edge when it came to eaves dropped conversations. Less concerned with popular culture than his newspapers would have you believe, it’s unclear whether anyone told Murdoch that Kent and Superman are, in fact, one and the same person.
Ex-colleagues of Rebekah Brooks said she had, allegedly, tried to seduce Kent away from the Daily Planet on numerous occasions, and for the very same reason. Privately, Kent told associates that “he wouldn’t touch it with the Green Lantern’s, let alone his own.”
In a statement written by Steve Lobdell and released via DC Comics, Kent said: “The truth is that somewhere along the way, the business of news became the news. Growing up in Smallville, I believed that journalism was an ideal, as worthy and important as being a cop, a fireman, a teacher or a doctor. I was taught to believe you could use words to change the course of rivers – that even the darkest secrets would fall under the harsh light of the sun. But facts have been replaced by opinions. Information has been replaced by entertainment. Reporters have become stenographers. I can’t be the only one sick of what passes for news today.”